I often tend to sit and think. Many hours of the day I will just dream of how my life is, how it could have been, and how I wish it were... I often wonder why bad things seem to happen all at once, as we all know how the saying goes, "When it rains, it pours". I don't know if it's just me or not, but it seems I always find myself befriending people I know I will never have the chance to maintain a relationship with. Let's be honest here, I've never had a real relationship, and I've pretty much given up the thought of ever having a real one. All I can do now is sit around and dream of one day being happy. I'm often told that I tend to be to negative in my outlook and understanding of life - it may be true, but my life tends to be a very negative experience. People don't know the half of my troubles and worries I have to deal with. Needless to say, we all have multiple personalities - at least this is one theory of mine. I know that when I'm around people I adjust my personality to help better the people I'm around. I'm always trying to make people happy, when in reality I'm the one suffering the most. I have recently found some people that I can sit down and talk about life with; they understand but it seems I'll never be as close to some of them as I'd like. It's a very complicated thing to explain, but I thought I needed to share some of my thoughts. These people should know who they are, and I hope that they understand how hard it is for me to maintain a friendship when I'm always hoping for more from that friendship. I know it will never happen, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. We all do it, it's just some people handle it better because they have people they can go home to and talk it over with; someone to love and comfort them.

I've started this blog to hopefully get my message out to some people. I'll try and share my experiences throughout my life to help benifit others. I know what it is like to suffer, and I would hate for anyone else to have to go though that. Hopefully my knowledge and understanding of the way time can change people, and how life can throw you for many curves I'll be able to help someone out there going though a rough time...

Thank you for reading,
-Shawn